


Cold Amongst the Stars

by Asrael_Valtiri



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Armitage Hux Can't Say No, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Drinking, Longing, M/M, Post-Starkiller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 03:04:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20351338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asrael_Valtiri/pseuds/Asrael_Valtiri
Summary: For Kylux xoxo Summer Fest 2019- End of Summer prompt. I chose Star/End/Back.Hux ponders his complex feelings for Kylo Ren over a whiskey. Or three.





	Cold Amongst the Stars

Hux stared out the viewport in his cabin. Countless stars stared back, but they were so old, so far away, none of them would have cared a whit about him. Some were already dead, their lights ending with an explosion or being swallowed by something more vast, more terrifying. And he felt the same, a star sucked past the event horizon of a great black hole.

He sipped from the tumbler of peaty, smoky whiskey he’d been nursing as he read through and filled out reports for the last hour. The ice was mostly melted and enhanced the taste of this particular spirit as he inhaled its bouquet.

He stood from his custom desk and approached the transparisteel, touched it almost intimately.

Somewhere out there, obscured in the blackness and light of the stars, was Kylo Ren, the shame of Hux’s life.

So was the alcohol, at least at the moment.

Hux rested his head against the viewport.

Ren had recovered fairly quickly after Starkiller. Almost more quickly than Hux had emotionally, at least to everyone else.

Armitage Hux knew better. Knew Ren better.

The first night Ren had been released from the medbay, after furiously refusing to allow his new facial scar to be fixed, he had crawled back to Hux, the only person he could deign to appease his tormented mind. They often used each other to soothe their turmoil. Or they had, before.

Before.

Well, it had been some time before Starkiller Base. Before Skywalker’s map.

Before the girl.

Hux sipped again from his glass.

Ren had come to him that night, desiring comfort; a warm, familiar body; physical exertion. Needing to whine about the girl.

They had not been rough that night. Hux had welcomed him into his chambers on the Finalizer with literal open arms. He’d found himself just so happy--happy!--that Ren was all right. He’d kissed Ren! In those final moments on Starkiller, before they fled in a shuttle, before it had exploded, Hux thought something in them had been rekindled; that sympatico they’d had once, that seeming affection.

But that night, he’d realized only he felt it. Ren simply needed someone to whom he could whine.

Balls deep in Hux, with the general’s hands in his hair, on his back, murmuring soft, kind things in his overly large ears, Red had nearly wept as he began to ramble about the girl.

It had taken Hux a moment. His lips had been on Ren’s scar--a scar that did nothing to mar his peculiar, doe-eyed beauty--as Ren began to pump harder and grit his teeth as he spewed the angry, hurt words that Hux couldn’t even recall now.

Hux did recall pushing him away. Trying not to look as hurt as he felt as he spat out, “What?”

The night had ended appallingly, wth Ren breaking a lamp and stomping out with only his pants on, his cape wrapped around his bare torso.

And Hux? Hux had curled into himself on his bed, alone, knowing once again that he was never quite good enough for anyone to really want.

Now, he thumped his fist against the viewport.

If Ren cared a little for Hux’s well-being, Hux would be glad to feel the same about Ren’s, but he couldn’t. When Ren left, for missions, for training, for any reason, Hux couldn’t help but worry.

Would the Resistance kill him? Would Snoke? Would Ren’s custom ships, designed by Hux himself--not that Ren knew or cared--be as faulty as Starkiller; would some flaw cause the Upsilon to explode, or the Silencer’s lasers to overheat and destroy it? Hux knew that wasn’t possible, on any count. Bt he’d found himself unfortunately having grown attached to the New Republic princeling.

Hux liked beauty, and Ren was extremely, uniquely beautiful. That couldn’t explain his attachment, though.

He genuinely must like Ren’s abominable personality.

But--stars!--it hurt.

Alone in his rooms, he could admit this to himself--three drinks in.

He also had to admit to himself that this thing, whatever they had, was over. Red did not want him. He was convenient comfort. He was Ren’s only sexual experience, so there was a strange, codependent attachment, safety, assurance. But Hux knew the truth. All he got was an orgasm and a broken heart.

He shouldn’t have a heart. He really was weak then.

His only recourse was to refuse Ren if he came sniffing for a fuck. Ren could wallow alone until he either died or went crawling after the girl. She was the one he wanted. Strong, clever, fierce, a Force user. Hux had always known in his heart he was a convenient fuck for Ren, an easy one, because Ren knew Hux wanted him.

No more.

Something caught his eye--a flash amongst the stars that resolved itself into Ren’s Silencer. Hux loved those ships, because they protected Ren and worked well for him; they fit Ren’s beauty, as he’d intended. He was proud of how they’d turned out. He was happy--again, happy! Ren shouldn’t have such power over him!--that Ren liked the Silencer and Upsilon.

Hux waited.

After perhaps half an hour, his door chimed.

“Enter,” he called. He swallowed the last of his whiskey, left the taste on his lips. Why? he asked himself.

Because Ren stepped through the door.

He looked angry and wounded, his eyes pained. Hux knew he was so very fucked.

“The girl is with Skywalker. Master wishes us to rendezvous with the Supremacy. I’ve given the order--”

“All right,” Hux said simply as he took off his gloves and reached for Ren.

Ren looked as if he would cry, as he so often did, even though only Hux usually saw that. Such a face! Hux regretted how weak he was.

But only until Ren’s arms engulfed him.

Ren would be his destruction, and here he was willingly allowing it. If Ren always came back to him, Hux feared he would always lay himself bare before Ren.

Ren would consume him.

But his worry, his regret, would have to wait. Because right now, Ren was so very warm and pliant in his arms.

And his, just for now.


End file.
